Getting By...

So many changes in such a short span of time- my head is still reeling...

I am enjoying my work as the Fitness & Wellness Coordinator for the 'W'. This is the first major good thing to happen in my life for a very long time. I'm still holding my breath, because after a loooong run of terrible luck it's hard to relax and believe that maybe something will go my way. So far, so good with my new position...

The children, bless their hearts have done so well through all of this. They start school next week. We have tried to keep the stress in our lives from affecting them as much as possible.

Our marriage is still in flux. Not sure what to do about it. The past 14 yrs were not exactly a picnic for me. He was all caught up in his career, but I was bored, lonely and taken for granted for most of this relationship. I need some kind of stability financially & emotionally. That has never happened. So here we are forced to start over in our 30's and the big question on my mind is "Do I really want to start over with this man? Will things improve between us or will the next 14 yrs between us be as dull as the last." I cannot live my life that way. It was very difficult. (No, I don't have anyone else, so this is not about going after another man.) When I got married, I was only 19, but I meant it for life. Now, I'm just not sure anymore. We have very different personalities. I'm a go-getter and he's just so laid back. He's a good student, but beyond that, he's like a turtle and I'm a cheetah. There is so much at stake here. I want to spare my children the chaos I went through as a child due to my parents divorces. Never dated much, only had 1 sorta serious relationship besides him, so I don't have anything to compare it with. He's a great guy, I'm not sure I'm the one he needs either. He says he's ready to change. When I asked for separation and took off my wedding band, that got his attention. Says he loves me more now than ever. We'll see... Lots to think about...

Hubby is registered for school- starts tomorrow.

I have been training for the Bike Fest next summer. Hope to at least finish the race in top 12. It will be tough to keep up my training during heavy Winter months, but should have enough Spring to crank it up again before the big event.

Well, now you know I'm still alive and kickin'.