Just a little update. Love my job. It keeps me busy and challenged, but that's good. We moved into this duplex and just 8 weeks later were evicted because our Landlord went bankrupt. YES, it is possible to have to move 3 times in under 8 months- life IS that cruel! I am still training as best I can to race again next year. I have lost a total of 38 lbs. Hope I don't lose any more or I'll have nothing left to wear!!
The children are doing well. Hubby & I are still trying to hold this marriage together, but it is gasping for breath.
During some of the darkest times of my life, I have looked to the sufferings of others to find strength. There are many who endured horrendously cruel ordeals. They worked through it somehow and so will I.
I realized today that in this life, some must bear the wounds. They must feel great pain and darkness. Once they emerge from the suffering, they can then be a source of encouragement to others facing their own set of challenges.
To suffer is a tremendous priviledge in that respect. It is to be embraced for a time, but it cannot last forever. The human heart only has so much strength to hold out for brighter days.
When I hurt the most, I try to find some other sufferer and lift their burden as well I can.
Being on the outside of organized religion allows me to do that in a whole new way. I don't have to wait on a church board, or the one in charge of outreach to get out there and make a difference. I see a need and try to fill it as best I can. This is a very freeing thing for me.
There are many things about God I do not understand, but I love Jesus Christ, the renegade rebel. He loved when others hated. Accepted those others rejected. If He was here today, I would most certainly fall at His feet and worship Him and be welcomed.
He suffered greatly, yet loved so deeply. This is the level of greatness I aspire to.
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11 comments:
Hi there. I'm so sorry you had to move again. Awful! May God give your heart the strength to endure the pain and suffering of this interim of your life! And may you be done with it soon!
At least you are thin (ha!) I also hope you can go on to find new and better experience with those who identify with Jesus. God will never leave you or lose sight of you, even if you lose sight of Him because of the abuse of those who represented Him. Your words in your signs and wonders blog really sting. And I can remember a time when I felt the same way.
I think the blogosphere produces souls who are more valuable than we realize. I have been upheld in prayer in ways that have been amazing.
Be encouraged.
Good to hear from you. I'm sorry things have been so challenging. I am glad you still like your job.
I definitely think you are on to something about suffering. I too believe God will use it through you to help others...but that doesn't make it any more fun.
I think of you often and check for your post. Know that there are people who care about you out here in blogland. I certainly can't tell you why things happen the way they do. I do believe we have to power to change things. Here's a quote I really like: "When you cahnge the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Congratulations on the weight loss. You must feel like a new person. My intentions will be for positive changes in your life.
Blessings!
Keep hanging on, in the past 4 months i have left the church, brother passed away, family cat up and died, family car blew an engine, etc etc etc....
But God is with me as i knwo you know he is there for you!
(update your profile to the "new" you
Hi Trailady;
You must be a 0% fat fitness machine! Great to hear your working out is…working out!
You are already showing yourself to be a light thru suffering…and I want to encourage you…
As you know I am not a fan of “religion”, Jesus doesn’t want us to be “religious”… Jesus is the One that started the “Jesus organized followers” and He has organized us to work together in concert…what instrument do you see the Composer and Conductor placing into your life?
My warmest regards and prayers for you my sister….
Hi Trailady,
My heart goes out to you as I have read through some of your posts. Life is difficult as we were reminded by Scott Peck! I truly feel that God is doing something special with your life right now. It probably doesn't feel like it. In fact, I'm sure it feels pretty much like you've been dumped on the trash heap!
I just posted a piece on my blog called "The Best is Yet To Be." I have shared a tiny piece of my story minus all of the gory details and trust me, there are many. It is about the awakening of our soul which for some of us is a painful process.
If you feel compelled, do read it. I hope you find it encouraging. As I'm nearing the big 50 life is much better than when I was in my 30's and early 40's.
Don't give in to the temptation to feed on people's sympathy. You are strong. You are not weak and you will come out of this stronger, more beautiful, and thinner! Yeah!
Blessings to you!
Hi Trailady…
You are very much appreciated…
…I have passed along TWO awards to you, come by and pick it up at Life on the Blade under the article
Celebrity Bloggers! Bloggers that have made me a fan…
(Sunday Oct 21)
Thanks everyone for stopping by... I honestly didn't think anyone would still be checking my blog. I love you all!!!! :o)
Hey, good to see new news from you. I keep checking...this can be a long journey, but in my experience, God has been faithful. I love the idea that suffering is a precious gift. It's just so hard to hold it that way in the middle of your pain. Thanks for sharing your insights along the way. It's like an on-board recorder while traveling through deep darkness in the human heart.
reading your story breaks my heart--I'm strengthen just to read your postive spin, keep the faith and love your kids and tell me how to lose 38 pounds (actually, I'll settle for 1/2 of that) :)
Your post has a hint of hope in it. It sounds as though your are finding your way through this darkness. I am proud of you. I am someone who has not gone to a formal church in many years and you are right, sometimes "organized religion" just does mess it up. You go girl, go out there and make a difference. The lives that you touch are so blessed!
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