Sunday, December 30, 2007

Not A Baby Anymore!

Last night we had a birthday party for my youngest. She is now 7, so we had a little party for her with a few friends over last night. 3 gifts. Strawberry cake with pink icing- she was thrilled! . Just losing her first teeth. Such a cute, sweet girl. Took 4 tries to get one like me and Lil'Jo is certainly her Mama's daughter. Jed & Beth are a LOT like their daddy- very laid back, somewhat timid and content to wait for life to come to them. Kellie is a good mixture of the two of us, she is incredibly artistic. All 4 of the children are very intelligent and have an ear for music.

I think Jo may go far in life. She's a go-getter, fun-loving but brave- not afraid to try new things. When she is sad- which rarely happens, she cries a little and wants to be held, then she's ready for more fun. She loves to dance. The only part where she's vastly different than me is that she LOVES pink & frilly things. I LOVE her tenderhearted nature.

My girls are beautiful, hard-working and are going to get noticed someday. Hope they will be popular, but reasonably assertive. I have raised them to be kind, but no push-overs. I reject the idea that females should be wimpy, stupid or bitchy & sarcastic all the time. I want my girls to take pride in the way they look, but not to the point of being vain. I want them to value themselves, but always look for potential in others. I hope they will stay active and on top of things as far as their health goes.

Lastly, I hope they will eventually find men who love them as they are. REAL men who will be successful and can make them feel like ladies.

"Dear Jo,

You were a wonderful surprise. Your Dad & I thought we were done having kids. We were trying to decide which of us would "get fixed" when I became pregnant with you. Whenever the 5 of us would sit around the dinner table, I had this strange feeling that someone was missing. As soon as you were born, I knew YOU were here. My heart is blessed because of my children.
You were a good baby and TOUGH! You put up with all the bumps & snuggles from the other kids- always had a smile on your face. I'll never forget how quickly you learned to ride a bike and how you now like to follow me around when I'm cooling down from a training ride. You keep up pretty well!! Although you still sleep with your "Pink Blankby", you are not a baby anymore. (A fact I meet with mixed emotions.)

Sweet Girl, I hope you will feel secure in my love for you and in who you are. Try to maintain a good relationship with your Daddy- he loves you too. Don't rely on boys to make you feel good about yourself. Take pride in your heritage and in who you are. Boys and romance are a VERY nice part of life, but they are NOT life itself. Be comfortable enough with who you are to be on your own when/if necessary.

I was raised to believe that without a man in your life, you're pretty-much a zero. Don't settle for the first nice guy that's "willing to put up with you". Wait and make him wait. This is going to sound very old fashioned, but take your time. You are a treasure, don't just give yourself away to some flatterer who talks a big game. He must be worthy. Make sure he knows how to manage money. Yeah, he may dress sharp & have a fancy car, but if he's already up to his eye-balls in debt, life could get pretty bad.

Relationships can be very sticky ordeals- don't rush into anything. Make him find you, don't chase him down or let it be a one-sided effort. Let him be the one to set the pace, or it's likely YOU will have to be the one who sets it for the rest of your life. There are a lot of slackers out there looking for a woman who can provide for them. That kind of arrangement can get exhausting. It still works better the other way around, or if both of you contribute- that's great too. Don't marry someone you have to carry.

The dreams that are in you now are important. Believe in yourself and give it your best shot. I will do my best to help you reach the goals you set. Know that if you ever fail to reach a goal, I will be here for you, to pick up the pieces and help you start over. As long as a heart beats within my chest, you will never have to feel that you are standing alone.

People make mistakes. That's a fact of life. I was raised to never think outside the box or make a mistake- which was very confining. Make your mistakes, test your theories- and learn whatever lessons life has in store. This will make you genuine. You cannot do anything so "bad" that I will ever stop loving you or turn my back on you.

Take time to consider other points of view. There are many cultures and opinions out there. Expand your mind. Never allow yourself to reach the point where you feel you have everything all figured out. The day you do, your growth as a person will cease and your mind will begin to close.

Don't be foolish or careless, you have to live with consequences. Realize that people can be VERY judgemental and unforgiving. At times, those who feel threatened by your confidence and abilites will try to play head games and make things miserable for you. Hold your head up, walk away when you need to and you will have self-respect. (Remind me to explain the "Secret Female Code" to you someday.) lol

If anyone ever intentionally hurts or messes with you, they will have ME to deal with. :o) If you are unsure about a guys intentions toward you, bring him home. We'll have a BBQ and invite all our Ninja friends. I'll demonstrate my accuracy with a high-powered weapon in the backyard. (If he ever asks you out again, he's probably sincere- lol)

You're MY girl and I have every confidence in you. I will do my best to remove obstacles that stand in the way of your success and work hard to provide you with opportunities.

Do well in school- develop your mind and learn how to look and act professional. That may not be considered "cool", but while those who mock you are sitting on their tails or trapped in minimum wage jobs someday, you will have good work. Effort toward higher education is never a waste of time.

Some of these things I have said are still a little over your head at this point, but I want you to know I believe in you and always will."

Love, Your Mama XOXO


samrina said...

Hi Trailaday,

Belated Happy Birthday to your daughter,, seems like you all had a great time.. may God always keep your together n happy like this :)

After reading this post i must say besides being an inspirational lady you are a wonderful mother too :)

Loads of love n best wishes,


Gabrielle Eden said...

These are beautiful words to your daughter, and ones she will treasure one day. I was hoping to hear about your little ones, and now I have.

Trailady said...

Hello Samrina! Nice to hear from you. :o) Thank you for the kind words.

Gabi, You are such a great friend. Can't believe you still stop in to read my stuff!

Baba Ganoush said...


I stumbled upon your blog, strangely looking for info about flashes I have seen in my eyes lately, and read a post you made in 2005! I decided to see if you were still writing, and look at what I found! :) I hope you are still writing. And I am very saddened to hear of the difficulties you have had with your husband. I hope God has allowed you to find compromise and peace with one another again.

I was compelled to write because I was very touched by the note you wrote to your daughter. I have shared it with the mother's that I know, old and new. I am grateful that God let me see that today, and I am grateful to you for writing it.

So, perhaps without intending to, you have deeply touched someone, many someones, from halfway across the country. Thank you and God Bless!!