I'm Baaaaaack

Had a nice trip to PA. and back! Long flights, but nice companions to sit with both there & back. Must say that I much prefer to sit with men than women at times. The men will talk for a while, then let you sleep, while the women want to engage you the entire flight- often in the deepest of emotional topics. After nearly a week of staying up until all hours, I was sleepy, so appreciated having a more brief conversation and the freedom to take a nap. :o)

I am loving my 30's! Really, I am. Unlike my Mother who cried all day on her 30th, I embraced the big 3-0 with enthusiasm, wondering what great life lessons would unfold in the third decade of my life. Tell ya what, I'm not doing so bad either. My 20's were the diaper decade- legalism, sleepless nights, slow strolls and elastic waistlines. I have started my 30's with a heart full of adventure, love for my children, a more tailored look, a better understanding of who I am and where I want to be in life. I'm brave enough to ask questions and feel more confident. Also, the ugly duckling, plain-Jane that never got asked out on dates, the one who attended everything ALONE is no longer invisible. I was offered dinner by one man and a drink by another in passage. (Of course, I declined, but it feels nice to be noticed once in a while.) It's easy to doubt the sincerity of a spouse at times for they are somewhat obligated to say nice things. But the stranger in the airport who is simply nice to be nice- no strings attached is probably sincere. Both of these single guys were able to hold interesting, but appropriate conversations, knew that I'm married with children and that I had hours of boring lay-over time on my hands. When I told Jay about all this, he said, "I would not have minded a bit if you accepted the dinner invitation. What's going to happen in the middle of an airport anyway? He was just trying to be nice." Well, too late now, but it's probably safer to err on the side of caution.

Saw a lot of familiar faces at the retreat besides my coolies in 'Message of Mercy'. Step-mom was there, also my Dad came to the concert, sister-in-law, father & mother-in-law, and a good friend of mine had flown in from Germany to see me. She & I stayed up late talking and I felt very encouraged by her presence. I very much enjoyed speaking to the groups of women who attended my 'Overcoming Approval Addiction' seminars. Basically, God IS love and He offers unconditional love. When we learn to accept that as fact, then we can learn to love ourselves- even if other people don't approve of us. When we treat ourselves well, we are able to treat others the way they deserve- even when they're cold. That's the basic pattern of how it works. When no longer seeking to please everyone else, you are able to be true to who God made you to be. FREEDOM! There are many dear ladies who literally kill themselves for their families, churches and careers- hoping that they can get a little approval from someone. That was me for many years, bending to the point of breakage in order to please everyone. I often said "yes" when my body & soul were screaming "no", but if it earned me a pat on the back, then it was worth it right?? WRONG!! People who have parents or churches that reject them are most vulnerable to approval addiction. I'm getting over it. :o)

It was nice to be greeted by my family at the airport when I got back last night. In fact, the very gentleman who offered to buy me dinner came up and introduced himself to my husband & kids. (Another reason I doubt he had any wrong intentions. He was nearly twice my age.) I'm glad to be back with the ones I love. It was a great trip!