To all my readers: I'm not perfect, okay and I'm the first to admit it. I make mistakes everyday. I'm just a lady on a journey and I do not perfectly live out what I have learned. (Who does?)
Apparently, "Ro" is a real person who claims his first comment was meant as sincere not as sarcastic. Sometimes when you read a comment from someone you don't know, it can sound either way. I'm a fiesty girl who is on the defensive right now. I am painfully aware of my shortcomings. There have been more than enough people wanting to bestow their wisdom upon us- usually by telling us how we are doing things ALL wrong and offering us cute little cliche statements that amount to a hill of beans when you are feeling devastated. Not a great way to help people who are down to tell them they are on the wrong path or being stubborn. Anyway, my response to Ro was meant to set a boundary while being somewhat humorous, as for all practical purposes it seemed he was a flamer- if I for a moment thought he was legit, I would never have responded to him in that way. (I deleted several nonsense comments lately that are not worth repeating- from bloggers I don't know and spammers.) If Ro is a genuine person, then I welcome him.
Anyone can disagree with me on this blog as long as it's done respectfully- and many have. I am open to a variety of opinions...
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9 comments:
Hello Ro, Well, I guess we can't get off to any worse of a start. ;o) I honestly apologize for being cold, but truly- if I thought you were for real and not some joker, I would've simply asked what your angle was...
I do believe in God. Religion was a large part of my life since I was born. However, as I come into a place of greater maturity I realize being religious no longer satisfies my spirit. You're correct, I am not the most brave person- I am a recovering approval addict. That's partly why I have this blog- it's a place where I can express myself and sort things out without getting lectured. I've come far enough in my journey to question some of the ideas I was raised with, I'm finding a God Who is vastly different than I thought!
I simply want to be free to think, feel and explore my beliefs without a bunch of people trying to control my thinking and force me into a mold I'm not sure I fit into anymore.
Part of my defensiveness is because there are plenty of hardline people out there who are intent on changing or stopping my thinking process. (I actually thought maybe you were one of them trying to scold me about my "worldly ways" and bring me back into the bondage of legal religion, but I see your angle now.)
Yes, wide open spaces are getting to be fewer and farther between. I find beauty in deserts and beaches as well as mountainous and forested areas. It's all beautiful, just in different ways. The beach is probably my least favorite as, being the fair lady I am, I scorch in a bathing suit- even with sunblock on!!!
We'll be living in town for a while now- which is really tough for me. I'm most at home in jeans, boots and hat enjoying the great outdoors on horseback, hiking trails and sleeping under the stars. Someday, I hope to live in Montana where there are still plenty of open spaces and a wide variety of scenary. There air is still sweet there. Yep, Montana has it all, desert, plains, forest and immense mountain ranges. GORGEOUS!!
How did you find me?
I'm so glad you sold your house. It sounds like things are going better for you. It will be so nice if you don't have to work. I wish I didn't. I feel like I miss so much with my children. But I am providing for them, so I have to. I feel good things about you. I feel like there is good energy around you right now. I moved my kids during the school year too. I know the guilt. But they have adjusted. Children are more resilient than we think. A happy mommy is more important than any school or posession you could buy them.
You need to leave all the self-righteous know it all people behind. Smile, accept the mistake of letting them in your life, be greatful for what you have learned from them - good or bad, and then open the door, and walk out - and away from them for good.
I am learning in my own life that what I focus on becomes my reality. It is hard for me to learn how to focus on the right things.
I wish only good things for you. And have a feeling things will be much better for you with the move.
I still need to email you.
Barb
Trailady,
I think you are brave. You are sharing a great deal of intimate details of your life here. You also have so many people "hitting" (I mean, it's around 4,000 now?) your site that it's not surprising that you come up with people who disagree or who may become somewhat contentious.
Ro came on my site too and disagreed, although not with any extreme hatred or anything, (which is intolerable.) It catches you off guard and you wonder if someone is going to become contentious. The first time this happened I was burned by it.
Now I hope to be more patient (although deleting comments is probably the wisest thing.)
Again, I can't believe how you write prolifically and do all you do. You are more amazing than you think. You go girl.
By the way, Ro. I am in love with the deserts of america. I spent the summer of 2005 in the Rocky mountains, in Wyoming and in the Grand Tetons, on the snake river, and in Montana camping out near grandiose mountains.
In Jan. of 2006, I traveled from Oregon, down into Northern California, and down the coast of the Big Sur. I camped in Monterey and Santa Barbara, and headed for San Diego and into Mexico. I went on to camp in Arizona. heaven.
I'm glad you have journeyed from the British Isles (I've spent a couple of months in England) which is supremely beautiful, but have been able to fulfill your love of deserts (which the Brit isles doesn't provide)
Hi Angel, You are so correct. The reason it has taken me so long to establish boundaries with these overbearing people is due to the sexual abuse in my earlier years. Once you are violated in that way, it is very hard to draw boundaries with anyone. You feel like you deserved to be mistreated. Now, in my 30's I have a breakthrough. I learn that it's okay to love myself- even if I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. I learn to feel more comfortable in my own skin and how to enjoy healthy intimacy- both physically and emotionally. In many ways, I have now outgrown the churchy people who are still intent on belittling themselves and not accepting attitudes. They are delusional and believe that if they just grit their teeth and try hard enough to be perfect, they can convince God not to burn them up. I have found such a wonderful truth- love, peace, rest, forgiveness... so different than the rules, works, standards, restrictions and seperatists ideas I once believed. This is good. I am constantly receiving correction by well-meaning but misguided people from the church. I have been censored as a speaker and musician because I have broken out of the mold that I was shaped to fill by the educational system I went to. Many people who I thought were my friends and would understand why I think the way I do are ignoring me. Either because they think I'm too far gone to ever be saved, or the discoveries I've made in scripture scare them to death. "You mean it's NOT all ABOUT US?" Always nice to hear from you and get your perspectives.
Hi Brian, How are you doing? Glad you are able to comment again.
Gabrielle, Thanks for being such a great friend in the Blogosphere! :o)
hey, gabrielle, if you ever feel like taking a companion on your desert trips, drop me an email. everybody i know *hates* deserts, and I can never find anyone to accompany me.
we may have to avoid the subject of religion though...
Just remember, it's your blog, we're guests. We need to abide by your rules. If we don't, we're history. Hope you found my new blog. I do enjoy so much your comments.
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