Reality...

I think, therefore I exist,
I breathe, therefore I am alive,
I bleed, therefore I know pain,
I laugh, therefore I remain hopeful,
I need, therefore I am human.

~ PW

To be limited by flesh and blood mortality is a challenge to all. There is a deep hunger in us that seeks to be filled and so we try all sorts of things and hook-up with all kinds of people in order to find fulfillment. Lessons are learned and we react to life in one of two ways:

1) We reject ourselves, focusing on percieved flaws and wallowing in guilt and shame. We constantly reinvent ourselves in hopes of finding just the right lifestyle formula (job, church, mate, car, house) to feel happy, earn more acceptance from others and convince God not to burn us up. We remember our shortcomings, often doing penance through great deeds and sacrifices in order to prove to ourselves and to God that we are good.

2) We accept that we are weak, imperfect beings and love ourselves anyway. We view our mistakes as learning experiences and are not afraid to move on, trying different things and weighing out many thought processes. We come to realize that in order to love our neighbors, we must first embrace ourselves. We relax into our existence and enjoy living.

I ask, which of these two approaches is most healthy? God gave us minds and He wants us to use them. We should not be spoon-fed our beliefs, blindly accepting whatever we are taught. We must ask, seek and knock in order to gain truth. We must read, pray and weigh things out for ourselves. Sometimes, we may reach incorrect conclusions, but Grace allows us the opportunity to explore our faith. God is not impressed with our martyrdom. We cannot force His hand to bless us. He loves because that is Who He is. He forgives and saves, because He is merciful- not because we earn it.

Life is too short to constantly feel bad about ourselves and be down on others. I do not believe this is the will of God. Either He is big enough to save us from ourselves or He isn't. There is no middle ground. That is the reality I am facing... I choose to believe God can handle my sin and change my heart. I choose to relax and live my life abundantly.