"The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured." - Dean Acheson
Wise words! I don't know what 2007 holds in store, but my greatest desire is that I will handle it with dignity and grace.
The first week of the New Year and there is no break from our trials. The car died- cost $450 to repair and the Building Inspector that came to look at our house didn't like our shingles or our foundation, so the sale of our house is now in jeopardy- ridiculous! This place is only 10 yrs old and solid as a rock! However, if it doesn't sell, we will most likely end up making a late payment or defaulting on our mortgage. (Humiliating for anyone with integrity to face) It is difficult not to be bitter toward those leaders who put us in this position by demanding we follow the ministry down here, then after we take on a bigger mortgage, they fire my man. Worst of all, no one in the denomination will take any responsibility for what happened to our family & 5 others, so there is no closure, only this terrible frustration. My life and marriage are ready to split at the seams from all the stress. God help us!
I go to my quiet place whenever I can to pray Heaven will hear us, have mercy on us and lighten our load somehow. I bow before the Lord of all things and walk away- not feeling lighthearted, but my shoulders are squared and my head is carried upright. I will cry alone in the dark, I will workout hard and I will write my thoughts here to cope, until something changes for the better.
Sometimes I strongly identify with a character I saw in an old movie once. No idea what the title was- as I only caught one scene. A woman of nobility is being led to her execution. She is not guilty of any crime, but there is great hatred toward her. They are throwing rocks and tomatoes at her, they are shouting obscenities and calling her a dog, yet there is a calm on her face. She KNOWS who she is- their opinions will not shake her and she goes defiantly peaceful to her death. Jesus too, stood calmly before hatred. They put him through a mock trial, ripped out his beard, struck Him and spat upon Him. They taunted Him, even as He hung on the Cross- stripped of every dignity- including His clothing. Yet He did not sink into the bowels of hatred.
Love is far stronger than any bitterness.
Life is throwing everything it can at us. I'm lonely and weary, but as long as there is breath left in me, I will keep the words of God that were spoken to my heart. "You are mine, purchased of my Blood and you will be lifted up. Hold on just a little longer and I will move in your favor."
Please pray for me and my family...
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9 comments:
You and your family are in my prayers Trailady! It sounds like a lot of stuff is on your shoulder. May the adaption of the stress help you to live even more fully.
Blessings to you, TL; I'm sorry for all the challenges. May God be with you; may He be your strength, your wisdom, your peace.
My prayers are with you and your family. My wife and I are still recovering from bankruptcy 6 years ago. I pray that it does not come to that for you.
I will pray in the only way I know how for you.
Not very good at praying anymore.
Your post inspires me, touches me, and actually made me tear up.
I wish only good thing for you.
Lots and lots of peace.
You are on my mind and heart.
Peace.
Stand strong and endure the affliction - from this you can only grow in strength and don't let this battle take your feet from under you. I like your resolve and the fact you can see the forest from the tree's. Do not doubt that God will help you - 'never I seen His children slip through His hands ' (Steve Taylor)
I would talk to the denomination - if it is their house or if they are somehow tied - but even if not, charity is not one thing we as Christians should leave out of our faith anyways - maybe there is a listening ear somewhere in the house of God. I think if you seek an answer - it is coming.
Sage, Thanks for stopping by, I like your new picture. Blue is my favorite color- it matches everything. I hope to live more fully- thanks for the prayers.
Lily, You have a very compassionate heart. Thank you.
Brotherken, We already went bankrupt last year. Now, we may lose our house too. I keep holding out that it can't get any worse, only better from here...
Angel, Thanks for stopping by. I know you care and that means a lot.
Society, The church isn't tied to the house directly, but we would never have sold the one we built and moved here had we known they were just using the staff to get them relocated, then firing everyone! I have tried to reach out for comfort and support, but we either get lectured or the people seem to overwhelmed by the situation we are facing that they have nothing to offer. There is no shoulder big enough, but God is. Having this blog has been a tremendous help in expressing myself and keeping my thoughts together. I appreciate your feedback. :o)
I sit here weeping as I read your post. I weep for you and your family, dear sister. I pray God will ease your burden. You are a strong person. I learned that from getting to know you here. Know that there are many who are with you. God Bless you...
I pray for you, as you have requested.
Don, You are a compassionate person, I know this. Thanks. :o)
Gabrielle, I truly appreciate your prayers. God hears.
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