The Passing of Dreams...

We just finished watching a wonderful film starring a young actor I highly respect, Shia Lebeouf.
The movie is entitled 'The Greatest Game Ever Played' and I must say, this film far surpassed my expectations! The cinematography is amazing, the acting superb and the theme is about the realization of dreams and overcoming social stigmas. It is based on the true story of an Irish family who came to the US with dreams of great success, yet the Father only becomes a ditch digger and they live in a small house beside a Golf course. The mother is still hopeful and supports Shia's character in his pursuit of Golf, but the father is so disappointed that his owns dreams didn't come true that he selfishly witholds support for his sons dream of being a great golfer. Time after time, he fails to understand or encourage his son in reaching toward his goal. The ending is great and the father finally makes peace with his disappointments and opens his heart to his son. I was very touched when the father was finally able to congratulate his son and offer a smile of approval.

Okay, I'll admit it, I don't know much about Golf. It doesn't thrill me, but I was totally on board emotionally throughout the entire film. You see, I have a dream of sharing my music, of travel and study. I've already done that to a certain extent, but I've not been able to go as many places as I would've liked. There is so much more to learn and experience. I didn't make much money at it, so there are many who scoff. To most, unless it makes money, it's not a worthy pursuit. Well, I'm nearly to my mid-30's and not getting any younger. I have 4 bright children who sing, dance, draw and paint wonderfully well.
I know life is a long series of transitions. So, I wonder, when comes the time to accept that my dreams may never come true and begin focusing on those of my children? Is this giving up a sign of weakness on my part or simply an acceptance of the reality that without means, it is nearly impossible to rise above the stations we are born to? Yes, even in America- land of opportunity- often the door to success is slammed shut with a resounding thud in the faces of those unfortunate enough to be born poor. My parents were never wealthy. I received absolutely nothing from any of my Grandparents when they passed away- a fact that reflects their lack of interest in me while they were living. It was almost as if they were non-existent in my life. I made attempts at relationship that were not returned. There is are holes in my heart their love should have filled. Sadder still is the fact that there are many who feel this way. Watching thier lives pass by, feeling unloved and losing hope.
Now that we have been financially devastated, perhaps it's time to make peace with reality and stop hoping to ever be more than I am. If wishing could make it possible to give our kids a better future, then it would be so, but I fear they are bound to the same future of struggling to get by. For all our many complexities, we humans really are simple, somewhat helpless creatures, often bound to follow similar paths as our parents.
My sweet babies are fast becoming of the age when serious dreams for the future begin to take root. Lord, please allow me to give them the support and the future I never received. I'm doing the best I can, but I don't have a lot of great examples of how to be. How do you give what you have never received? Perhaps it's already too late to do what I always wanted and it's time to pass the torch on to the next generation. Unlike the father in the film, I want to have a beautiful spirit and be optimistic for the dreams that have been planted in the tender hearts of my children...