How Long?

Two words dominate my thinking tonight. "How Long?" I just finished quieting and tucking in a sobbing 6 yr old. She says, "Why can't we just be a family again and eat breakfast together and play games and just be all of us at home like we used to be? I want you to be home again. Why can't it just happen??" She cried as if her little heart was breaking- same way she cried 2 yrs ago when I took her old, faded Pink Blankby away and slipped in a new one exactly like it on the sly. She tolerated it for 2 wks, then came to me in tears saying she missed her old blankby and wanted her back. My precious little "Bunny" is sentimental above all of my other children.
I once told the story of my black & white Pandy-bear with button eyes & Blue Rabbie with satin ears- 2 stuffed animal friends I had when I was little. I slept with them every night, one under each arm and gave them rides in my Radio Flyer wagon. They wanted to know why I don't have them anymore, so I explained how they were lost in one of many relocations. Although my parents knew exactly where the box that held them both was left in the old house, I could not with all my pleadings convince them to go back and get them. Recently, we were in the car and the children asked me if I ever had a toy that was really special to me and the story of my two most precious toys came out. Suddenly from the back of the van came the sound of uncontrollable sobs. Yes, my baby was crying back there FOR ME! She said, "Mama, you loved Rabbie & Pandy as much as I love my Pink Blankby and now they are gone forever and ever"....... more sobs. I had NO idea it would upset her like that! As soon as we got home, she ran straight for the table and drew me a bunch of pictures of both toys and amazingly, her drawings looked JUST LIKE THEM! How she knew, I do not know, but I keep the drawings beside my bed and somewhere deep inside me, a little girl is pleased.
Although we are so weary from years of this cursed misfortune, we still have our wonderful children. God, I thank you for innocent little hearts that hold such great amounts of love and tenderness. If you are no longer hearing my prayers or have grown tired of my pleas, can you hear those of my children asking You to help us??

So I wrapped Bunny in her favorite blankby, rocking her in my arms while she cried for what has been lost to all of us- the joy of having family time and a regular, more relaxed schedule. I want nothing more than to have the power to fix all of this and make it better....

How long, Lord? How long??