Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Melancholy & Memories...

I get melancholy sometimes and that's when I start missing people. The ones who have been a part of my life are still very special to me. We change, grow and drift apart- I guess that's life, but it's hard for me to let go. I've been known to write to people for years with little or no reply. (After a while, I got the hint and stopped pestering them.) There are only so many people who have really let me be involved in their lives and once they do, I will always care. I especially miss friends from school days- good times- yes, even the ones I didn't really get along with. (I can count on one hand the number of people I haven't much cared for.) I have a broad range of interests and get along with just about anyone, but I don't mix well with critical, pessimistic people. Life is hard enough without a bunch of negativity- or as my younger brother once put it, "I don't need to eat anymore stress sandwiches." I could never be really close with people like that, but they are a part of every life story none-the-less. Guess we're all trying to get ahead in the rat race. Like most people, I'm busy and appreciate time-saving technology, but the downside is that as we become more automated, we seem to interact/connect less and less with each other. Used to be when you went to a gas station, a crew came out. One filled your gas tank, one washed your windshield, while another checked/filled your tires. I have a faint memory of visiting a gas station as a child and 3 people coming out to service the car. That doesn't happen anymore. Now I don't even interact with a cashier to buy gas, I just slide my card, fill up and leave. Things have become so disconnected. I've moved around most of my life- don't have any real solid roots. Deep inside I guess I have this need to be remembered and I want other people to know I still remember them too. I want to know somebody truly cares enough about me to honor the past and make an effort to keep the relationship alive in the present. Do you ever feel this way?

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