Then, when I was about ready to give up on love, I met a guy who latched on to my heart and took time to get to know my soul. Now God has blessed us with a son and three beautiful daughters. Between my own babies and those I've helped deliver over the years, I see how different most men & women are from the very start. My son was stronger- even while I carried him. His kicks & punches were vigorous- as I drew near to term with him, it became downright uncomfortable! From the moment he was born, he was masculine- both in his cry and in the way he held his head up, looking around as if he was ready to conquer the world. When he learned to walk, he was like a bull in a China shop. When he fell hard, he would grunt, get up and keep going. The girls were softer, sweeter and more cautious... 4 times life has come into this world through me- amazing! My children have taught me to accept the beauty of womanhood and that it's okay to be feminine.
Male & female. How I marvel at the way our bodies are designed and how they compliment each other. Man is stronger, more muscular, his skin & hair are more course. Every so often, I have this re-occurring nightmare and wake up trembling & feeling a terror that defies description. There's nothing more comforting than feeling the strong arms of my man wrap me up and hold me close. Woman is mighty in different ways. She is made to comfort and nurture, to receive a man and bear his children. Her heart is tender and she cries- not only for herself, but for the pain of others. She is soft in all the right places so it's comfortable to embrace her.
One of my favorite movies is 'The Legend of Johnny Lingo'- a sweet little story about an unwanted boy and a girl who is scorned for her unfavorable looks. As they grow, love develops between them. The boy soon leaves to try and find a better future for them both, promising he'll return. To make a long story short, he ends up giving 10 cows (the dowry for a princess) in order to marry the "ugliest girl in the village". Everyone thinks he's a fool, but years later when they see Mahana, she is beautiful and walks with purpose. She has lived up to the potential Johnny saw in her. The Evil One doesn't want any woman to feel beautiful or to understand her real worth. Someone took a chance on me and now I am able to feel valuable.
There are many women worthy of admiration- they aren't crude, prissy, awkward, snobby, petty, frumpy, timid or unsure of themselves. They aren't striving to fit anyone's stereotype either- they simply are who they are and have this graceful dignity in the way they carry themselves. I'm still learning what it means to be a lady, but I believe the power of a woman is not in trying to make herself like a man, or in being equal to him in every way, but in being all we were created to be. We are tender. Man should find comfort in us and in return we need his honor & protection. We carry & bear children, we nourish them. We hold them close when they fall, teach them the ways to live and finally, (against our better judgement) we let them go out into the big world knowing we'll always be there for them. If this isn't strength, I don't know what is!!! At long last, I am proud to be a woman. :o)
12 comments:
Hey Brian, Thanks for stopping by. Yes, I'm doing better now. I can only allow myself to be melancholy for so long, then I've got to get back to my spunkier side. It's good to reflect on our challenges every so often, we just can't linger there too long.
Yes, I also view men & women as equal but different. However, some women don't want to be different either- they want to be equal & same as men. Anything a man can do, they want to do as well or better. Sometimes this works out and sometimes it doesn't. It's just not for me. I still have a little rough-n-tumble side, probably always will- I will never be a girly-girl, but overall I'm more comfortable with who I am. :o)
What a wonderful post. :)
I agree with heidi and I love femininity. I love the way a woman can hold 6 different ideas in her head while changing a diaper. I love women to look like women.. CURVES. I love the different points of view women have. I love women, period.
That has gotten me in trouble in the past...LOL.
And I am ALL dude, I can go from clean shave to full beard in 2 weeks. I have done all the guy stuff, all the rough stuff.
One of the reasons me and Barb are so attracted to each other is the fact she is SO female and I am SO male, and we don't make any bones about it!!
I am glad to see these perspectives. I have struggled with femininity in the past as well and I only recently began to feel comfortable being "girly." I dressed in baggy clothes and if I wore anything tight it made sure i didn't show any skin. No one in high school ever saw my bare legs because I made a "fashion statement" by wearing designer tights every day- sometimes 2 layers at once! In college I didn't wear make up and I never spent time on my hair or anything because I didn't want to appear prissy- even though I am prissy. I even shaved my head at one point. Now that I'm married and I've grown my hair long again I am more comfortable being a girl. WHen I started going to church I was taught that women should be womanly- but not prissy or vain or anything like that, which I took as a mixed message. The church treated women like prissy pansies, giving us worship sheets printed on flowery paper, decorating every women's event in floral accents, playing mind-numbing awful music, and talking down to us like we can't understand big words or anything beyond childcare. Women were always discouraged from pursuing careers outside of the home and really smart, accomplished women in the body were ridiculed privately. Now I am learning that God did design different roles for men and women, equally important and complimentary, and that it's okay to wear heels and skirts and jewelry and girly stuff. The Bible says we aren't to make those things our primary focus, but that doesn't mean we have to abstain from them absolutely! I am blessed to know that God approves of women and our characteristics- He made us this way!
for some reason the kindda women you describe here have become just as rare as gramophones.
most women want to be like men, and live up to their stereotypes, and I think that although the femenism movement gave what their men hadnt previously entitled them, but it was driven by the desire to be "like men" where "equality" meant to be in men's shoes.
On the other hand, femenism gave women purchasing power...so..well, if I am a large capitalistic corporation, I am the strongest advocate of femenism and will help women find strenght meaning, and identity in anything and everything that showcases herself.
Thats good sales
Hey Royce, Yes, it definitely works for Jay & I too. ;o)
Jody, Thanks for sharing and you are 100% correct. It's okay to feel good about ourselves and even to do some things to enhance our appearances. Like you said, as long as we don't get carried away with the exterior polishings and forget that the heart is the most important part- there is no harm done. Being frumpy brings no glory to God anymore than being gaudy. It's all about balance. :o)
Brain, you make some very good points!! In fact, a lot of the women's magazines sell more beauty products when they hold the perfect skin & stick thin image up as being beautiful. They even airbrush the models. Few real life women can compare, so they buy, buy, buy beauty products, etc. to try and obtain that which is out of reach. Unfortunately, many women fall into depression or become obsessed trying to live up to the unrealistic standards set before us.
Beautifully written. What a fantastic point of view of womanhood. I struggle all the time with accepting who I am and appreciating the role I play in our family.
Great post as always, Trailady. I know many women struggle with the same things. As do men in their way. It seems to me that at the same time many women have been saying that there is no difference between the genders and a woman can and should be able to anything a man can do, men have been strongly encouraged to be more like women. At times it is hard to know exactly what God's ideal is for men and women. The most beautiful thing is that He intended for His image to most perfectly be re-created by the union of BOTH genders.
Hello Heidi- stop in anytime..
Lisa, Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll have to look it up sometime. :o)
Kristin, I think it's really tough for both men & women to feel secure in their roles today. We are all searching for significance.
Thanks Karl, stay tuned, I intend to write a post about the challenges of being males. (From a woman's limited perspective of course) ;o)
Kellie, I'm glad you are also able to be more comfortable with who you are. It's a wonderful thing when we can accept ourselves. :o)
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