Being Touched...

Something good happens once in a while and I LOVE IT when it does! That's when someone shows delight in seeing you come into the room! This happens each day at the YMCA when I'm finished with my classes and go get the girls out of the nursery. Little Emma looks up from whatever she's doing- her whole face lights up, she squeals with delight and comes running over to me to be picked up and held. It really makes my day!!
Over time & tears we lose our ability to experience life as it was meant to be enjoyed. Because so often we associate touch with abuse we have suffered, we shut down to it's healing power. Others, because of intense self-loathing deprive themselves of this sensory element. This is sad. I'm going to try harder to show my enthusiasm next time I'm glad to see somebody and reach out more. We ALL need to be touched, appreciated, noticed and affirmed. It's really sad how we humans take each other for granted. Some people go through days, weeks, even months without touching anyone or being touched. How lonely! I remember back in private school handshakes were very popular because it was the only kind of touch that was permissable between guys & girls. Amazing the encouragement that is transferred via a simple pat on the back or warm hand on a shoulder. Many people with dirty minds have lumped all touch into one category- as being sexual. This is wrong!! Erotic touch demands a response. There is a nurturing touch that is simply a gift. When I appreciate someone, I naturally want to touch them. Not flirting or wanting to have an affair of any kind, just need some kind of connection with the other person- male or female. I often restrain myself for fear of giving the wrong impression. Sharing thoughts, feelings and ideas is an abstract interaction we experience everyday, but to lay a hand on one's head or shoulder, to embrace is concrete. It is needed warmth. Whenever I visit a massage therapist I cry on the table- not outloud really, but the tears flow. I don't know why, but that soothing kind of touch somehow releases my emotions. I felt foolish and apologized to the masseuse. She said, "Don't worry, I get that all the time!"...

Babies are more likely to die in ICU if they aren't touched. God designed us for touch with millions of sensory receptors on our skin. We are one with our mother's body for nearly 10 months, then we are born. Thereafter, if we have a nurturing mother or father we are held & touched a lot. The older we get, the less touch we receive, then we hit puberty and suddenly ALL touch is bad? This is wrong! Parents should still hug & hold their children. Perhaps our children would be less likely to get in trouble with the opposite sex if the need for touch was met by the parents. There is nothing shameful about a father hugging a daughter or a mother a son!

I know some married couples are rarely seen even holding hands. I've heard many laments by spouses who don't understand why there's very little physical touch involved in their marriage. We start out caught up in the fires of passion, but that fades very quickly, then what? The worst kind of loneliness is to be married without intimacy. Since you are married, you're no longer entitled to seek touch from anyone else. Because you are all grown up, nobody is going to hold you in their arms. Couples should regularly connect both through erotic and nurturing touches.

An experiment was done years ago by grade-school teachers. For one school year they took part in the study. One group never had any kind of physical contact in any way with their students and discouraged them from any physical contact with each other- desks were spaced wide apart, etc. The teachers of the second group would shake hands, high five, pat the head or shoulder of their pupils daily and encouraged students in play that involved physical contact, (Duck, Duck Goose, etc.) while a third group touched or didn't touch their students at random. Guess which teachers had the most well behaved, high-scoring and close-knit classrooms? Yep, you guessed it, the ones who consistently touched. Truly- today because touch has been so perverted- you really have to be careful how, who and where you touch someone.
Touch is so important that small dogs and cats are now used as therapy animals for the elderly and infirmed with great success! Studies show that petting any animal for 15 minutes can lower the heart rate and bring blood pressure readings down.
So, shake someone's hand like you mean it. Hug your wife and kids. If you don't have anyone in your life, pet your dog or cat, but experience the gift of touch today.