One of the hardest things in my life has been to have a dream! A seed was planted long ago as I sat before the piano at an early age. I felt a call on my life and I wanted to do music. Meanwhile far away a little boy was listening to inspirational music through headphones and desiring to do the same. Here we are fast approaching middle-age and we've done a lot of music, but just can't seem to take it to the next level and get our stuff to the studio. Sooner or later if you're a musician you MUST record in order for anyone to take you seriously. You get better bookings and get busier. We've done our part. We write songs we feel will reach people and perform regularly. The rest is up to God. Our momentum has been painfully slow.
The hard part is not knowing whether to sit back, relax and wait for God to make things happen or to work as hard as we can toward the goal and He will bless the effort. Perhaps it's a combination of both? My husband nor I are very aggressive or self-promoting people. We're not comfortable asking for money as we know what it's like to live on a budget and don't want to place a hardship on somebody. We're not looking to be rich-n-famous as so many musicians do- just want to be able to do what we love most. After years of empty promises and dead-end roads, life has worn us down. My husband is depressed, detached and ready to give up on a lot of things- including music. I can't carry the dream for both of us and yet I'm NOT ready to give up... yet... Last weekend I watched a lady in her 50's sing her heart out. She writes her own songs- mediocre at best- her voice has a warble in it. She looks great and her confident/comfortable stage presence is a tell-tale sign of being a seasoned performer. She has made 2 CD's. It's obvious she has invested a lot of time & resources into propping up her music career. After the show, I think she sold maybe 3 CD's? I felt this intense sadness for her, because she had a dream too and it didn't get very far. What makes me any different? I've seen some pretty AWFUL performances in my lifetime by people who think they were born to be a star. Turn on any 'American Idol' audition and you'll see what I mean! I'd like to think that just because we're born we have an inalienable right to have our dream come true, but I look around and see so many people whose dreams bottomed-out. Some are able to accept this and go on with their lives, while others are left devastated & bitter. Sometimes people give up on thier dream too soon, then live out the end of their lives with regrets. A dream is beautiful but delicate. So easily crushed and resurrected. Nobody ever gets anywhere without blood, sweat and tears. To me, living a dream is like giving birth- painful but rewarding. Martin Luther King had a dream and it cost him his life. But unless you are willing to sacrifice, the dream is not as precious.
My highest dream is to live in peace with all people. My second dream is to share my heart through music... God, if You're still listening to me, we could sure use a shot of hope right now... otherwise, take this desire from our hearts so we can re-focus our goals.
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7 comments:
Wow...this is one of those things that can really test a person's faith, isn't it? The question I have for you is whether your desire to share yourself through music is aligned with God's will?
I know that easy for me to ask from 2000 miles away, but are you spending enough time with Him (both in the Word and prayer) to discern his will for you in this matter?
And it could very well be that you are aligned in his will already - his answer today might still be "Patience, it is not yet time."
Hi Andy,
Good thoughts! All our music is born from prayer & devotional time. Without this element, the music would not bear much meaning.
The problem is- it doesn't just say in the Bible "You are not meant to make music, go back to school." Nor does it say to hold out longer for something to work out. So we have to try and discern from providence- which is difficult at best.
I'm much like Sarah waiting for a child of promise. HARD, HARD, HARD to wait. I trust God's judgement, but it's still difficult to wait with no certainty. Unlike Sarah, I've never received a promise from God about music and yet the desire is so strong. Life is a difficult riddle sometimes...
It is all about hearing the "tiny voice of God." You're right - the Bible isn't going to say - "you need to cut a CD". I have found that hearing his voice often manifests itself in the physical voice of others (family, friends) - and the message is consistent with His character. And sometimes, it could be a particular piece of Scripture that leaps out at you.
Hang in there...discernment will come.
dreams are those sparkling diamonds that enchant even the dead.
wonderful and an insightful post
"Never part with your dreams..
You may cease to exist, but they'll live on."
Trailady, kind of a coincidence, I just posted about a recording artist friend of mine with a similar issue and burden. He's been trying to cut a studio album for years now. You should network with him. His contact is in my blog entry "One of a Kind Musician and Friend." Check him out. :)
Thanks Marcel, I will do that! :o)
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