One morning recently, I headed down to the barn unusually early to do my chores. The day was just beginning to dawn. Our barn sits a considerable distance from the house. When I'm not with my children, I usually enjoy peaceful moments, so I don't make much noise. As I got to the base of the slope, I heard a rustling sound and looking to my right, in the morning mist I saw a small herd of deer stirring in the fenced area that is supposed to be our goat pasture. My heart jumped into my throat! I adore these gentle, graceful creatures and to be so close to them was a sacred moment for me.
Suddenly one of them noticed me standing there and quick as a flash he bolted, about seven of them bounded across the pasture and over the fence. But to my surprise, one doe stayed behind. She stood transfixed, watching me with unblinking eyes. I was absolutely still- only my eyes were blinking and we admired one another from a distance. I was delighted to see she was curious and timidly made her way toward me. Tiny hooves would take one small step at a time, then stand and observe me, then a step more. She was very watchful as she made her way to the edge of the mist. It was a magical moment and I hoped the beating of my heart wouldn't scare her away. She was so beautiful- those soft brown eyes and elegant form. I felt such love for this creature! How I wished I could win her trust, touch and take care of her. I wanted her to stay with me always. She came closer and was about 16 ft. away from me now. I could hear the sound of her breathing. Everything in me wished she would come nearer, my soul was drawn to her. I cannot describe to you the amazing bond, the awesome energy that was in the air. This doe was a brave and independant thinker. The rest of the herd stood somewhere far away in the mist, but she remained alone to seek me out and draw closer to me. We regarded one another for what felt like 10 minutes. I began speaking to her in soft, low tones. She pricked her ears to listen, tilted her head and sniffed the air. "Easy there..... you are soooo beautiful. You can trust me, I wouldn't hurt you for all the world, come to me...." She continued to stare at me with shining eyes. If only I could touch her, she would understand that I am safe. I don't know how long we stood there mesmerized- each of us wanting to connect with the other.... As the mist began to lift, ever so slowly, I began to reach out my right hand. Her head pulled back a bit, but she didn't move away. Soon, my arm was fully extended and she began to raise one of her front legs- as if to move toward me.....
At that very moment, the herd began to rustle in the leaves, stomping and snorting. They were anxious and impatient. She jerked her head, fearful instincts suddenly kicked in and she slowing began backing away... "Don't go, I won't hurt you" I said almost whispering, but it was too late. In an instant, she turn and bounded away from me toward the herd. I felt the adrenaline rush of a close-encounter, but the sadness I felt as she fled my presence was tremendous. Through the misty morning, I could just barely make out the sight of her re-joining the herd that was now running deep into the forest. I stood there several long moments, trying to savor the encounter, but the encounter was over, the feeling was fading...
It was then that God spoke to my heart, "My child, you are like this deer. In My eyes, you are so beautiful. Words cannot express the love I feel for you. I want you to know Me, to feel my love. My hand is extended to you. All your life I have been whispering to your heart. Won't you lay aside your fears and come to me. Others have broken your heart, but I will not hurt you. Why do you continue to run with the herd? Why do you listen to their voices instead of Mine?" It hit me like a ton of bricks! It is very sobering when you hear the Voice of God in the morning mist. I dropped to my knees in the dew-covered grass. "I am Yours, Father. Have mercy on me, I feel as if I am undone, take my heart. Do with me as You will. Teach me what I need to know in order not to fear You anymore. Heal this heart of mine, because nothing on this earth takes away the pain. I want to trust again... don't give up on me..."
It never ceases to amaze me how God orchestrates circumstances, using simple things to teach such intense spiritual lessons.
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8 comments:
We readily acknowledge with our minds that God is Love, but why is it so much more difficult to act on that belief--to lay at His feet even our spiritual lives so that He may do with them as He will? Why is it so hard for us to proceed beyond the mere mental realization that any part of our lives lain completely at His feet will be returned to us more full of Life than we ever thought possible?
Chad, Good thoughts. I think perhaps because in this world, we are told from early on that we aren't good enough, that we aren't beautiful and that God is angry with us. He's someone to fear.
Just like the deer was curious about me and wanted a closer look, we are curious about God and start to get close, but often we allow our fear of Him to take over and we run from the very thing we need the most.
Hi deer Trailady
wishing you a peaceful weekend
I jsut joined ur fan club!
Such a beautiful post :-)
I read and reread it. I so wish I was there. Really loved this post.
God will do whatever it takes to reach us and draw us nearer to Him.
God created an inspiring word picture for you, and then told you that was how He felt.
I can understand the fears. I can't even begin to say how much I understand. May God bless you and I rejoice with you that you had this special moment of communication with our Father in heaven.
A beautiful encounter and lesson. God does orchestrate and corner us, doesn't He. Its too bad those encounters with His Spirit don't happen often enough. What if that message to our heart could happen every day? I think that will be what happens in heaven and on the new earth. No more obscurity of His messages of love for us, no more deafness to His still small voice, no more fear of God, no more sinful self-sufficiency. Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, the things which God has prepared for them who love Him.
Quasar9, Thank you, I need Peace!! :o)
How do We Know, I certainly appreciate you stopping by!!
Brian, I will definitely check out your latest...
Wriju, I'm glad you enjoyed this little story. I can still feel the magic a bit. It will always be a neat memory!
Rose, I'm glad God never gives up. His voice is so gentle.
Inheritor, Scripture says, "I will use the simple to confound the wise." I find this to be very true indeed! The greatest lessons I've ever learned have been in the forest, fields, or through working with animals.
David, Amen and Amen!
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