Friday, June 16, 2006

Heartfelt...

Thank You- to everyone who actually takes the time to read and respond to this blog! I know that you, like me have busy lives, so the fact that you invest a little of your time and thoughts here on 'My Journey' means a lot. I am so touched.

Sharing my story was cleansing for me. What about you? I'm interested to hear your stories too. What are your scars, your victories??? Open yourself, share your journey- Trailady will not judge, but seeks to encourage you. I've learned a lot about Brian, Angel, Royce, Sharon, Andy, Marcel, Donny and many others since we met here in the Blogosphere. WAY cool people! More than anything, I long to connect...

Life is too short to stay married to our sorrows. Dare to expose your hurts, drop the baggage and be free. Stand up against the winds of rejection, be brave enough to laugh, cry, dream and dance before your Maker. This is my wish for each of you.

15 comments:

Andy said...

It certainly has been a pleasure getting to know you as well, Trailady. May each of us continue to share with each other here with honesty and openness that is an essential part of Christian community.

BrainSyke said...

hey Traillady, its een a crazy week at work, and I didnt really get enough time to keep myself posted to you every recent post. But, God willing, I shall definately catch up.


I think, guys would have a harder time sharing all that much ;-) :-D

--peace

Trailady said...

Thanks. Everybody needs a place where it's safe to be real. :o)

Royce said...

Your comments on FallenAngels blog about her mother are 100% on the money. Her other daughter( my sister-in-law ) is all about appearences, right house, right school, right clothes.
But when they get together all they do is backstab everybody they know, sit around and gossip. A very pathetic life if all you have to do is gossip and put others down to make yourself feel better.
I moved past people like that long ago, like it or not I am me, and I have worked long and hard to be me.
I ain't perfect, hell I ain't even close, but I will not let someone elses opinion of me affect my opinion of myself.
Barb is finally getting there, it has been hard for her watching her mom play favorites, something no mother should do. In fact I am over-sensitive about not doing it between my step-kids, my soon-to-be adopted son, and my biological child.

Marcel said...

TL, your mini series was inspiring. I declare we all post our own "It's Been a Long Road" story. Ok, count me in. I got a "born again" story to share soon after my divorce. Need to get crankin!

Anonymous said...

Hey Trailady, it sure seems by reading your saga that you really focus on yourself and the negative. I read very little positive in your tale. You have a dream for a family, then you get one and yet you remain unhappy and long for something else. You speak of financial woes, yet you are in a singing group that travels - that can't be inexpensive. Maybe you should try to get a real job to help your man, I mean how much can you be making for 'teaching' classes - probably not a lot. You talk about your man spending so many long hours at work, yet when he's home you're gone and he's gotta take care of the kids. You appear to have plenty of time to work out, blog, have a myspace site, compose music, sit on porches for hours and talk and other things - what time does he have? It's good to have hobbies and other distractions in life, but it seems a bit lopsided with the time you have compared to your 'man.' How fair is that? You talk about dreams being crushed, yet many of us have unfufilled dreams and can be happy and content with life. Dreams are great to have, as long as they're realistic and in proper perspective. You talk of trying to 'live' up to others expectations and following what others want - yet you appear to be quite selfish in following your own desires at the expense of your family. I'm sure this comment is pretty much a waste cuz you'll just defend your position and not take any of it to heart. I hope you will take some of it to heart though.

Good luck!!

Roseuvsharon said...

Whoa anonymous. I think you knew your words would be really harsh so you didn't have the courage to leave your name, whether real or a "cybername."

If you don't have the courage to leave a name, why should trailady or anybody read what you have to say?

It takes real courage to get through life. It takes courage and trust in God to get past the negatives, the trials and the mundane.

We should be building trailady up, not tearing her down.

Is there room for critique, most likely because there is room for critique in all of us. But true "I care about you and want to help you" requires loving correction, not attacks.

Perhaps you have some really good things to say, then again maybe not. If you really think you have good stuff to say, then pray about a better way to get it across.

I'm hoping and praying that this comment to you isn't too harsh, because that is not my intent.

Trailady said...

Hello "Anonymous",

Hmmmm, this is really interesting! You seem to consider yourself an "expert" on my life. (Based on your responses, I think I know who you are. I'm not at all surprised at your input considering...)

Several things to clarify for you:

1) This is MY blog, so yes, it's going to be about ME. There's nothing selfish about that. You are welcome to start a blog about YOU. I'm sharing MY JOURNEY and the lessons I've learned. If this offends you, then ya certainly don't have to read it. I freely admit time & again that I'm selfish to the core- you aren't sharing anything I haven't already confessed & lamented. (However, I believe God is working to change me.) Fact: selfishness is a condition we're ALL born with and it manifests itself in many ways. Only those who have obtained a state of complete unselfishness are in a position to go around pointing fingers and correcting others.
Did you expect to read a "saga" entitled, "It's Been A Long Road" and find a bunch of jolly, joy, happy bliss???? Life has been tough for us the last 13 years, but especially for the past 3. My man & I have both been hanging by a thread. I make myself vulnerable and you pounce? NOT cool.
2) My degree is in Health/Fitness- I get paid plenty to do what I love. Granted, the work isn't really steady yet... however, if you've been reading all along, you know I'm hoping it will lead to more income potential in the future. I haven't sought full time work because I love my family and chose to stay home with our little ones. I'm home everyday of the week with my kids- so it doesn't hurt my man to watch them 2 hrs while I'm at practice and one weekend a month while I go do ministry outside the home.
3) My husband is also a musician and has always been supportive of me being in the singing group and I certainly deserve it after 8 years in solitude. (That may work for some people, but not for everyone.)
4) The group doesn't cost much except the time to be in it & gas to get to practice once a week. Our clothing, food & travel are all paid for.
5) My man works long hours because he cares about his family and wants to provide, but also he tends to be a workaholic who can't say no to bosses who use him up. Believe me, they felt NO guilt at working him a 12 hr. day.
6) My dream is the very same as my husbands, so what is selfish about wanting it to come true??
7) You make time for what you want in life. I get up early every day & stay up late so I can do blogging, writing, Bible study etc. I manage my time in order to get the most out of each day.

I believe in learning love, compassion and respect- that's what this blog is about. To have influence with me 'Anonymous', stop playing games, approach me in that way and be brave enough to sign your own name. Otherwise your harsh feedback deserves no serious consideration.

Royce said...

To anonymous
You know I didn't get the impression trailady was being negative at all, more like she was being introspective. Looking at the hard times she has endured and how much she appreciates what she has know.

If you had read any of her other posts you would realize how open she is to other points of view and other cultures. A christian with an actual christian spirit, very rare in my experience,

AND as far as getting a job, I am a father of 5, and I have worked since I was 13 years old. I have always paid my way, always.
But finding a regular babysitter for 4 children ( or 5 in my case ) often times takes more money than someone can make in a week.
It would cost us about 1000 dollars every 2 weeks to put my two little ones in full time day care. Then we would still have to find a way to get them to school and back. Then take into account that with either of my skills as a CNA or a Phlebotomist my income MIGHT be 300-500 bucks a week. So my entire income would be used to pay for someone to watch the kids that we can never completely trust. My wife is an RN, so I am a stay at home dad.

Having a lifestyle like this does not mean you shut yourself off from the world, does not mean you completely loose yourself. In fact it is MORE important to socialize and re-affirm your ideals and beleifs. Having converstaions with children all day makes a person yearn for some adult socialization for sure.
And if Trailady gets to preach with her music( as Jesus commanded his disciples in the bible ) and this is what she believes is the right thing to do, then she should find a way to do it.

Seems like maybe you are the one focusing on the negative, now doesn't it?

Hiding behind a wall of anonymity and throwing stones makes you an ass or a coward or both, feel free to leave your comments on my blog.
www.royceman.blogspot.com

Fallen Angel said...

I think we have all done exactly what annonymous has wanted us to - we played right into it.

A reaction. he's trying to get a reaction. Not only did he get yours Trailady, but lots of your friends who automatically feel like we need to protect you. Its actually kind of amusing why he is so irritated at you - with no apparent reason.

When Royce showed me his comment this morning I was like, whoa - where did that come from? It doesn't even made sense. Then I was instantly reminded of something. Myself. About this same time last year. I was doing the same thing to Sharon ( sorry Sharon, once again). I was annonymous lots of time. I was hurtful and critical and did it so everyone could read it. And I did it to make her feel like shit. Whatever she wrote, I had a problem with. No matter what it was. You have to ask yourself why. I had very specific and personal reasons for hurting Sharon and critisizing her - and every time I did it I did it in a way that made it look like I was simply responding with a valid point. I eventually signed my name. This continued up until about a month ago. And I just got nastier and nastier. Sharon always let me talk. I was hateful and mean, but she always let me talk. It really did get out of hand. Please quiet this person before he keeps going like I did, like Sharon should have done.

This person obvioiusly has issues like I did.

What people say and their opinions ALWAYS say more about THEM than the opinion itself. It tells you more about them than the person they are talking about.

Its always fun to watch someone make an ass of themselves. In traffic, in line at the grocery store, at work. Quite entertaining actually. I'm sure I was. I know you weren't laughing, but being on the outside looking in, I was actually kind of laughing at how obvious he was this morning. Its kinda funny. Trust me, I recognize it, and its him and not you. I agree with all the comments since his, but I'm not going to waste anymore time giving him a reaction. We love you and are glad you wrote it.

When the book comes out he doesn't have to buy it.

But don't wait as long as Sharon did. He only deserves one comment.
(And don't be as nice as she was.)

Fallen Angel said...

Oh and by the way annonymous, my comment isn't a Christian one like most on here. This is Trailady's pagan friend. My response is not from my christian responsibility to "uplift my sister". Its from a human view and psychological view.

You really shouln't be so easy to figure out. There's a quote that always cracks me up. "People are eventually going to know you are an idiot, they just shouldn't be able to do it from 50 feet away in the dark. "

Run along now, and go be an ass somewhere else. We've already figured you out.

Marcel said...

Ok, this is really cheesy, I know, but if you're a superhero flick fan like me, roll with me people. Anybody seen X-Men 3? I just thought of this as I read the comments post-Anonymous. At the end of the movie, all the superhero good mutants establish a perimeter around the building that holds the kid with the special powers (i.e., TLady). To get to that building, the bad mutants (i.e., the Anonymous forces of the world) have to go through the good guys (enter: Tlady's superhero friends here) because they are protecting precious commodity and stand for justice, integrity and peace. I bet we'd look good in black leather uniforms. :)

Deb said...

Trailady,

i've not been up to really posting alot lately but i have been reading and as always i find inspiration in the way you face these set backs each and every time. I know God will take care of you and your family.

The nameless word bully needs to be dismissed as just that...a nameless word bully. I am apologize this person did that to you.

Trailady said...

Thanks for the support guys! It's nice to have friends. :o)

Honestly, I don't mind advice, or opinions that don't mirror my own, but I take "correction" only when it comes from a trusted friend and it's done in a loving and respectful way. If you are going to write a bold comment, then at least be bold enough to put your name with it- that's all...

Not all people are comfortable being open about their lives and that is their right. I am and that's okay.

Anonymous said...

Traillady guess Im a little late in posting to this, but dont let what one bitter person says shake you up. Your on the right track. Sorry I dont post much Im super busy, but I do read your blog as often as time allows. You just keep on being youself and god bless your journey.