Random Musings...

I am now 16 lbs down since Jan. Whoo-hoooo! Classes are going well at the 'Y'. We are hosting a little get-together for Ripple here tomorrow night. Very much looking forward to the fellowship.

Things are still up in the air for my husbands job. He was fired illegally- one thing in a string of unethical actions that occured over the course of 2 years. I was hoping for a clean break so this has made things even more complicated. For now my man is getting a week or so of paid vacation while things get figured out.... he doesn't say much and keeps himself occupied with busywork here at home. He sleeps a lot....

We went to eat with a friend last night. He has so many good ideas for ministry and lots of contacts! Sets my heart on fire to hear him talk of all the possibilities. I hope that soon we will see some concrete plans materialize. I simply want to serve The Almighty. I don't have to be a big hero evangelist or some famous singer. My goal is not to be rich. Though it would be nice to be known, if it is my calling, I am content to simply serve those around me who need. God help me be a stronger person. Make me more like You..... Jesus was a humble servant. He did not elevate Himself above others. He did not rally the Jews into some big, violent political power, or support their ego trips. He spoke simple words and united Himself with common people. He spoke the Truth because He was not owned by loyalty to anyone or any church. He was determined to do the will of God- even unto death. I want to be that kind of faithful.

Today we received word that Al Zarqawi was killed. I feel mixed about this. I certainly believe it is in bad taste to celebrate the death of anyone. I'm glad that his murderous influence is gone, but I'm sorry when anyone dies. I looked at the picture of his dead face. Despite his violent deeds, he was some mother's son, some childs father. God save us from this world of woe. I know Zarqawi believed in what he was doing- I respect that. However, I strongly disagree with the way he carried out attacks that killed innocent men, women & children. I find it wholly detestable to bind & behead someone on camera and use it as propoganda. I don't think the death of Zarqawi will have a great influence on things in Iraq. Someone else will take his place and the new terror will probably be more ruthless than ever... there will be revenge killings. When does it end? Peace is a choice. For example, the fighting between Jews & Muslims, Protestants & Catholics. As Ghandi put it, "Sure you say an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but if we live that way, soon we will all be blind and toothless." This was a reality check and a call for peace. I've never lived in the middle of such violence, so I don't claim to be an expert on it. I'm not the kind to start a fight. All I know is that in order to have peace, in order to give a better future to the children, the adults must stop being consumed with anger and filled with thoughts of revenge and murder. Children should not be educated in hateful rhetoric. I know what rage is. It's the way I feel when I see cruelty. I felt it when I perceived my children were under threat in a parking lot once. It welled up inside me like a mother bear and I was instantly ready to fight! In fact, after the mugger ran off, it took me hours to come down off the adrenaline rush I had. I was ready to protect what I loved. I believe in a sense this is a noble instinct. However, the best way is not retaliation, but forgiveness. Violence is a shame to us all. It degrades us.

I do not agree with Crusades. There have been many throughout history. Attempts to conquer and convert other races of people through violence and intimidation is not the way. Long ago, Native American children were kidnapped from their tribes and placed in "Christian" schools where they were forced to memorize scripture in English & Latin. They were also beaten, stripped publicly, starved and verbally abused all in the name of the church. They were different than the white man, so they were therefore labeled as "savages" and mistreated as such. This is not a past to be proud of. God sees all acts of kindness and deeds of injustice. He is the Judge of all things. I trust He will soon bring an end to the suffering we are forced to witness here. This is my greatest hope.