My husband & I dated nearly 3 years taking things REALLY slow. Our engagement went fast though- only lasting 5 months. I was 19, a full time student with 3 part-time jobs, my husband was 22, in his last year at university for a BA in Communications. I now have 13 years of marriage under my belt and still learning! Upon hearing of the engagement of a young couple I know, I'd like to impart some words of advice:- No matter how long you've known each other- there's still more to learn...
- You aren't perfect- neither is your mate. Laugh about the toothpaste & toilet paper, but be careful- little annoyances can add up!
- If you kept yourselves pure, (good job) don't expect wedding night to be perfect- it may be somewhat awkward. Intimacy comes over time & with practice. If you slept with someone else in the past- don't compare. If you've already slept together, lay off- it will make you desire each other more on the wedding night.
- Keep ALL wedding presents- even if you don't want or need them. Re-gift them for holidays, birthdays and weddings and save BIG bucks!.
- DON'T start out buying stuff on a credit card. A big killer of romance is a load of debt hanging over you like an executioner. Acquire possessions gradually.
- Set up a reasonable budget and stick to it! Plan ahead for vacations, romantic evenings, new vehicle, etc.
- Keep dating!! Married people need romance too. (Don't get lazy in this area- very important)
- Get a hobby- anything the two of you can share and IF possible choose something that can later involve children.
- Before you think about having kids, get a puppy & raise it together. It's amazing how much you can learn & grow through the experience! (Dog Allergy? Get a hypo-allergenic dog such as an intelligent Poodle or cuddly Bichon)
- Don't base life decisions solely on advice from family members. You two will be your own unit now- no longer under the rule of your parents. Listen respectfully to them, but take your own path.
- Pray with/for each other every day- this will bind your souls together. Read scripture or devotionals to each other.
- Leave little flirty notes or candies in a drawer. Bring flowers. Try new things. Make surprise dinner arrangements. (You'll get bored with home-cooking & hum-drum routines) Can't afford to go out? Play "your" song & slow dance in the living room.
- Don't go to sleep angry. Frustrations can carry over into the next day. Apologize & make up! (That's always fun...)
- NO grudges. Leave the past in the past- don't throw it in each other's faces. Move on! Keep communicating.
- Living with parents? Not a good idea, unless they're emotionally mature & balanced! Best to have your own space.
- Don't hit or throw stuff. (Unless you're playing) Control your temper- it's easy to say something that a thousand apologies will not undo. Don't hold shouting matches in front of children- that's no way to handle conflict!
- Husband, if she says, "Does this make me look fat?" A wise man grins and says, "Baby, you look great as always!" LOL
- Maintain manners & hygiene. Ladies flush, Gents put the seat down. NO rude gas, foot scratching, nose-picking, belching, etc. Don't kiss your prince/princess with bad breath- go swish first. If your feet stink- wash 'em! Stay in good shape, shave, wear nice clothes & smell sweet. Remember, don't tempt your spouse to be unfaithful! He/she still deserves something GOOD to look at.
- Above all don't take yourselves TOO seriously or get discouraged. You're both just human beings on a journey... ENJOY!!
9 comments:
very true...
is that you guys from back in the day?
Praying & reading Scripture together - that's something I need to do more of with my wife at home...
The photo is not of my husband & I. It's my favorite couple ever from 'The Amazing Race'. Besides, I like her red hair. :o) If you look in the Dec. or Jan. archives, I posted a picture of us under the title 'A Publicity Photo'.
All good advice Trailady>
Although re-gifting wedding presents must be done with discretion.
Not only should one avoid re-gifting a present to the original giver (don't look good) but the original giver should not come across their unique present in someone elses hands.
Pete
What a great list! One my grandma told me when I was getting married was "when you fight, don't go jabbering to your girlfriends. Talk to your husband." I think that is a good one too. And also say "I love you 12 times a day - you can't say it too much." I thought that was a pic of you too! :)
LOL- Yes Spooky Pete, you always have to act wisely! Especially if great Granny knitted you matching orange & lime sweaters- Don't give those to any other couple or it'll be a dead give-away that you re-gift. :o)
Kristin, I think talking to your man first is always the respectful thing to do. God thoughts!!
Good advice ma'm
wow - really good. Amazing that HS has already made me think about not doing those annoying habits and I'm practicing not doing them.
yeh- the spiritual foundation and common love for God is absolutely number one!
Post a Comment