Things that Cannot be Taken...

This unpredictable world can take a lot of things away. My family, happiness, job, health, youth - even my life.
Nothing lasts here. The material goods that we often neglect our family for and work so hard to possess don't last. Cars break down, animals die, clothing wears out, houses burn, fame is fleeting and relationships can fade away.
There are two things that nobody can take away. Our faith and remembrances. People of great passion went to the lions and into the flames with their faith still intact. I've seen elderly people smiling and peaceful on their deathbeds because of the wonderful memories they have made- with so few regrets.

So I'm taking time to build my faith and make great memories. I leave a little bit of me for my children via this journal and the book of quotes, poetry & sayings I have been writing for them since they were babies. I want them to know about my journey in life- how I felt about things, the struggles I faced, and what my dreams were. Life has always been precious to me. I savor it- both the tears and the laughter. What a gift it is to exist, to have a heart that is able to experience, to FEEL... At times this passion in me is overwhelming- as if it will consume me- it is a flame that rises again and again from the ashes of disappointment. There is so much love in my heart...

We all share a common thread in that we only have 12 active hours in each day to manage. I want to use them wisely- to claim at least a little bit of each day for myself in which to exercise, pray and reflect upon my goals. I want to invest in someone else with some of each day and work toward making their lives better and helping their dreams come true. I want to give generously to my children. When comes my time to die, I hope to have lived in such a way as to be remembered. Not worshipped, but missed. I guess my biggest fear has always been that my passing will barely be noticed. I believe that time is still far off, but one can never be sure... few things are certain.

Some of my best memories are riding my bike, playing on the farm and in the creek as a child. Riding horses on beautiful mountain trails. Sitting up all night by a campfire with my best friend- just because. Attending music festivals, the fluttery feeling of falling in love, getting my first puppy, dancing alone in the moonlight, seeing my children's faces for the very first time. I miss the laughter I knew before life became so heavy. Early on I thought some of my light-heartedness would wear off on my man, instead I find I have become much too serious. After a decade of being tucked quietly away from society, ignored, forgotten and doing the same chores day after day- I lost myself. Every so often, for just a moment- a little of my former self emerges again- then I play a prank on someone or throw my head back and laugh till it hurtsl!!! :o)

All my life I've had a list of things I want to do. Every year the list grows smaller. This is a great blessing- I am grateful because it means many of my goals have been met. There are still several things left. For one, I would like to travel the world, to see and embrace cultures that I've only ever read about. I wish to record some of the music Jay & I have written. I want to learn how to be content with what I have, who I know and where I am and yet, there is always this strong desire for something more... a deeper connection with God and those around me. God, help me invest myself in things that cannot be taken...