How Do You Know?

I often get the question "How do you know God is real"? The best answer I can give is this:
I struggled for decades to change myself, to let go of a hurtful past. I wanted healing from abuse & heartache. The more I tried to fix myself, the worse I got. I couldn't shake a life-threatening eating disorder. The greatest evidence that God exists is the FACT that I am changing. As I embrace the great love of God, my heart is healing and I'm finding true inner-peace. I'm not trying to "fix" myself anymore, I simply go to God & let Him love me. As I take my brokenness to The One Who sees everything and knows the beginning from the end, I find total acceptance- more than I ever found from certain family members and religious people. I've witnessed miracles in response to my prayers. The answers didn't all come when I wanted them to, but looking back, I see how perfect the timing was. I've been delivered from an obsession that would've drained the life out of me and stopped my heart. Therapists offered little hope that after a decade of throwing up/starving myself I would ever be completely free from the binge/purge cycle. I felt hopeless, but Jesus came in and broke the chains of Bulimarexia. You see, the root of my problem was that I never felt good enough spiritually or otherwise. I felt ugly, fat, dirty & unloveable. I blamed my family's dysfunction on myself. I thought if I was smarter, prettier, more obedient- maybe my parents would have stuck it out and things would be better. Kids at grade school talked badly about me. I was often shunned, and soon I hated myself. I couldn't escape my broken heart- I wanted to die! After a failed attempt at suicide in Feb. 1989, I began starving myself into oblivion. Eventually, I went from a healthy 128 to 98 lbs- which I covered with baggy T-s, jeans & sweatshirts. In highschool, people perceived me to be outgoing & confident- I was stealthful about throwing up after meals. By my Senior year, my friends & roomate were on to me. A slave to my obsession- I wanted out- all I could think about was how NOT to eat and how to throw up or exercise off what I did eat without anyone noticing. For all my smiles & crazy antics I felt weak & hopeless. I tried with everything I had in me to quit but could not. I was gaunt and all my ribs were showing by the time I got married. My poor husband got a skeleton bride. It took a BIG God to turn me around! A year before I became pregnant with my first child, the Lord set me free. I cried out to Him & He heard! Through His Word and the Hand of Providence, He revealed Himself to me. Over a matter of months, I stopped hating myself and started eating! Realizing a little of His great love was enough for me to see I don't have to punish myself for my wounds or weaknesses. I don't have to die of a broken heart, because Jesus already did that- for ME. He starved in a wilderness 40 days- He could SO relate to my disorder. Today I have 4 healthy children. I'm curvy- look more like Kate Winslet than Kate Moss, but I am FREE, I have hope and that's how I KNOW God lives!!!